Paula Stone Williams is a Pastoral Counselor and internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. Becoming a psychiatrist and confronting mental and emotional suffering beckoned me to confront my own. There is no room for passive citizenship. They grieve my passing. I have had thoughts of cutting myself, but I want to be a trans adult that kids can look at and see that the only scars I have is from my top surgery. I joined the service to find who I am, and in the most unexpected way, I did. We navigate as best we can. Until then, trans folks and women are in trouble. It is of little interest to me. I am comfortable in my own skin, as though I have finally come into my self. [4] She has hosted several TED Talks, sometimes accompanied by her son, Jonathan Williams. My journey is still very new but I relish each day that I grow into becoming my best and most authentic self. We assumed we would remain together for the rest of our lives. "The episode where Jack knows he's been called to die to save humanity it was this overwhelming moment," Paula recalls. They want to eradicate me from the face of the earth. I think the object of this one precious life is the pathways you take along the way, the energy you bring to those pathways, and the energies you leave behind. Figuring out who I am, and living my life with integrity has been the grand challenge of my lifetime. Growing up queer and learning I was transgender made me feel searing pain as well as transcendent highs. As I began to transition I was told I would never be able to model as a "male", because I was only 5'7 and not a real man. Do they get how self-limiting their lives are? "Here I am going, 'Let's be authentic, let's be a community that loves one another,' and I'm not being authentic. Several messages have gotten through of late. I mean, getting fired by evangelicals after 35 years of good work isnt very funny. Almost everyone who gets to know transgender people quickly learns that we're perfectly ordinary. I feel the weight of the responsibility. I really like the writing of Hampton Sides. Before meeting my fianc Drew, almost all of the men attracted to me would insist upon our time together to be kept a secret. I was teased and beat up on Jr. High for being different. I love that the church is the place that celebrates all of lifes comings and goings. Love is, after all, what makes the world go round. Women should not be given agency over their own bodies. One of my mentors, Roy Lawson, read a book a week. All rights reserved. One is a novel. Paula Stone Williams is a Pastoral Counselor and internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. At the encouragement of a friend, I just finished re-reading Bren Browns The Gifts of Imperfection. My transgender immigrant journey is unique and not representative of all the struggles of our communities, but I hope to encourage everybody to aspire to a life of authenticity. I never really had a name for it until I was an adult. Now, in an exclusive interview featured in this week's issue of PEOPLE, Paula, who has risen to prominence as a trans-rights and gender-equity activist, opens up about the inclusive church she's founded, her new memoir As a Woman and her work now to make amends by spreading lessons of love and compassion. But you take yourself with yourself wherever you go, and eventually the limerence stage of young love, with a place or a person, yields to the always restless longings of the soul. ". We live in an imperfect world in which everyone bears untold burdens. Fifty-six percent of transgender youth have experienced suicidal ideation, compared to 20 percent of their cisgender peers, an alarming number in itself. In June of 2012, after being prompted to address my unorthodox take on male grooming standards, I became the first openly transgender correctional officer at San Quentin State Prison. Paula has been featured in theNew York Times, TEDWomen, TEDSummit, TEDxMileHigh,Red Table Talk, theDenver Post, the New York Post,New Scientistmagazine,Radio New Zealand and many other media outlets. Pastor. For 99 percent of them, it is not because they are not happy in their new gender. I came to the conclusion that I had prayed for the wrong thingI prayed that God would fix me. By 1977, Paula had reached a high level with Orchard Group, for which she raised funds and started new churches. For someone to come out admit they are transgender is the bravest thing they can do. Nicole likes Pentecost and the first weekend of October, when in the tradition of St. Francis, we bless everyones animals. For Cathy and me, that language is descriptive, but not very helpful. Because, you know, Im clearly a bigger threat to America than guns. I check my junk file every week and notice I sometimes receive emails from a watchdog group riding herd over evangelical ministries. Church attendance might be down, but the church will be just fine. Sam Banks-Friedman said he didnt read books and that anything that needed to be said could be said in a six-paragraph blog. (This is paragraph five, if youre counting.) Paula Stone Williams is a Pastoral Counselor and internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. My perennial exile from employment is evidence of the near-clinical consequences of overt trans discrimination that eludes legal accountability. LOUISVILLE After spending 60 years as a man, Paul Williams came out to his family as transgender, becoming Paula. The kind of people I have in my life nowadays are astonished that such a thing could have happened. It is all or nothing. He went on to say, Transgenderism must be eradicated from public life entirely. I dont mean to alarm you or anything, but since transgenderism doesnt exist without transgender people, what he is advocating sounds more than a little like genocide. My transition wasn't a distraction, it didn't cause an uproar, and I didn't lose respect among peers. Paul is called to die. I began to understand that I was transgender. Presbyterian Mission Agency Paula Stone Williams and Jonathan S Life, though much harder, is much better - much more real. Over 60 percent of Republicans believe transgender people should have the same civil rights as anyone else. I probably do not give enough weight to the emotional effect of having the world I inhabited for five decades turn its back on me. Even though transitioning is not practical (I am married with grown children and grand kids and still work for the Army) I am out and about. (Cathy moved out shortly before Paula's facial feminization surgery in July 2013.). A few were not. The evangelical bubble makes me chuckle until I realize how much damage is being done to our nation because of evangelical perspectives on gender. Plus, receive recommendations and exclusive offers on all of your favorite books and authors from Simon & Schuster. When you bring people together in a voluntary community, it is going to be messy. I almost lost my health insurance. Corporations exist to benefit their shareholders. Well, at least some do. A number of people have discerned I am in the midst of a difficult struggle. Ive also been surprised by people who have chosen not read it, which includes a lot of good friends. I am Rev. She is one author Id rather listen to than read. My gender is not that simple. The abolition of slavery would never have happened without the concerted efforts of the church. Longmont was represented in Washington, D.C., Thursday as part of the transition to the new Biden administration. Ive been contemplating what my next TED talk should be about. I was feeling more comfortable as I was dressing more masculine which seemed to give me a bit more confidence. Pastoral Counselor and Ministry Consultant. Having lost the war against gay marriage, the far right started looking for another enemy. Pretty much all of those laws are driven by evangelical Christian men. A list of some organizations offering support and information. This was a call that demanded attention, water breaking, contractions every minute. We will write the script as we live it. My life is too egregious a violation. The grandchildren adjusted without much difficulty. I had dismissed my feminine yearnings as mere proclivities. Close friends say I am a better person. They are far more socially liberal than their parents, and they already make up 42 percent of voters. My five granddaughters think I should do a talk about them you know like how extraordinary and brilliant they are and how remarkable that is, you know, given the fact that they carry my genetic material and all. They usually think Im at least ten years younger. Since initiating transition in 2009, I consider transition the amazing journey of a lifetime, rather than a singular ultimate destination that may some day be reached. And I went to him for three, four years dealing with it.". When his book came out Kanye West famously said he doesnt read books. Like many transgender people, I became confused and depressed as my mind, heart and soul told me that I was male, but my body was betraying me and didn't match how I felt. First, those seeking to retain waning power have always focused on the most vulnerable people, minorities who are powerless. Pretty soon audiences forget they are hearing a trans story and just hear a human story. Paul was never here. But they saw what they saw and they are sad, angry, hurt. My wife is still strong by my side as is my daughter with both being an amazing support. [1] Williams came out as a transgender woman in December 2012.[2]. no hate here.". EXCLUSIVE: Sean Hanish and Paul Jaconi-Biery's Cannonball Productions has secured the rights to transgender pastor Dr. Paula Stone Williams ' just released book As a Woman: What I Learned about. I just want to be able to help and inspire others and show them they to can have the courage to be who they were always meant to be. The struggle has been real for almost 30 years but I have managed to make a life for myself despite the pain and heartache. Coming out as a lesbian in 1994 was hard enough as it was! ', Trailblazing '90 Day' Star Gabriel Paboga Shares His Journey to Love Since 'Feeling' His Trans Identity as a Kid, Jazz Jennings' Mom Jeanette on Raising a Trans Teen in Florida: 'We Were Prepared to Fly or Drive Anywhere', 'We're Here' Drag Star Eureka O'Hara Comes Out as Trans: 'I Know Who I Am Without Question', Trans Teens in Texas Worry About Losing Access to Health Care: 'I'm Just as Human as Everyone Else', Drag Queen Who Lost Friends at Club Q and Pulse Tells Anti-LGBTQ Lawmakers Blood 'Is on Their Hands', Colorado Springs Police Emphasize Using Correct Pronouns, Names of Club Q Shooting Victims, Disney Family Member Charlee Corra Comes Out Publicly as Transgender, Defends LGBTQ Rights for Kids, Beloved Trans Icon and Activist Mama Gloria Dies at 76: 'Forever in the Hearts of Many', Kim Petras on Finding Success After Being Told She'd 'Never Make It': 'Look at Me Now, Bitches! I want to scream, Dont you get it. Most people believe that being trans is a sexual orientation, but it's not. It cost them their daughter," Paula said. That pleases me greatly. Censoring their feelings, image and actions; many trans folk present an alter ego publicly for fear of discrimination! I was afraid of what would happen to my career; and at heart I was embarrassed. I find it lacking. When I transitioned, I saw a clear pathway forward for transgender people. Or maybe I give up the idea of doing a talk altogether and my granddaughters collectively give one on how theyve been ruined by having a grandparent who is transgender. Hey, did you hear the one about the friend of 40 years who never spoke to me again because of an issue that isnt even in the Bible? Yeah, not funny. I learned that no matter how bleak the outlook may be, it IS possible to be your true self no matter how many obstacles are in your way. I have left them fatherless. Those are the books on which I take notes, copious amounts of notes, starting on the back inside cover and working my way inward. An obvious choice would be Americas current fixation with transgender people. You will be required to repay anything paid on her behalf between the date of the divorce decree and the date of the cancellation., Cathy called the next morning and told the administrator of health services that we are, in fact, very much married, and the administrator said, I know youre not because its all over the Internet. Cathy was aghast, Since when did the Internet become the arbiter of what is and what is not true?, The administrator wouldnt listen to Cathy. I have entire new categories of having been dismissed that I did not have when I did my first talk in 2017. I felt awkward, not only around people but with myself. A Denver television channel showed a video of the principal of one of the schools in which he detailed the supposed threat. I'm so proud and appreciative of how far we have actually come. Do they not understand that the cumulative words of our species carry weight and provide invaluable insight about how to live. I live my life proudly beyond the gender binary, and even if you think Im just a man in a dress, you better damn well respect me. They said, The Bible speaks against homosexual behavior. This is not the time to remain quiet. After her transition, she has struggled to come to terms with her voice. She helps implement the vision of the church as determined by the Elder Board; including preaching regularly, limited provision of pastoral care and supporting the Global Branch. I am living a happy, proud, and gender fuzzy life these days. For me, living as my authentic self is the greatest thing I can do both for myself and for all the people in my We went through many ups and downs since the first time we met and were still madly in love 15 years later. Still contemplating how to live my authentic self. Reverend Dr. Paula Stone Williams is the president of RLT Pathways, Inc., a non-profit providing counseling and coaching services. As a transgender parent, I am required to think "outside the box" on a fairly regular basis. Last year Governor Greg Abbott signed into law a bill that classified age-appropriate gender affirming care for transgender youth as child abuse. It is foreign to the world they inhabit. So, all of that happened. Embracing my gender variance, I transitioned to female and opened a solo medical practice dedicated to the transgendered community. When Paul Williams told his secret to Orchard Group in 2013, they demanded that he resign immediately. Other institutions might cover one of those bases, but the church is the only one that covers all four. Paula went on to attend Kentucky Christian University and, in her senior year, to marry the woman she loved, Cathy. Add to that the fact that someone took it upon themselves to inform the Bay Shore, Long Island school district that our marital status should be researched, and you realize there are a lot of people out there who want to make my life difficult. Before then I didn't have a name for what I felt. I'm not telling people what's going on in my life. The Rev. His historical books read like good fiction. Trust me, you dont wanna miss them. from Winnipeg, Canada Supervisor of the Electrical Department at Home Depot, photographer, musician, writer, and advocate. April 1, 2023 April 1, 2023 / Paula Stone Williams / 4 Comments. Follow Paula Stone Williams on WordPress.com. Ive heard from women from all seven continents thanking me for validating their experience. Who knew they would choose transgender people? But I also know I had little choice but to transition. It wasn't like when I was that innocent boy who wore a dress and felt liberated. Over 300 anti-transgender bills are currently pending in over 35 states. I was not born in the wrong body, although this rings true for so many other transgeneros. But little else is as we would wish it to be. The cost has been high. MINT on: cultureofwomen.com #womenpower. Yet when I was assigned to my regular unit, the old feelings came back. It is a memoir. Ryan's chosen "As A Woman" by Paula Stone Williams. Allies work from their own perspective to speak up on our behalf. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your device and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Unfortunately, no one told fundamentalists and evangelicals that, and through shrewd manipulation, they now hold great political power. I'm the kind of woman who thinks it's artificial and limiting to reduce our gender complexity to a male/female binary. I learned to swagger and manspread. I guess they dont have much to do there during the Antarctic winter. Paula is one of the 50 #iconic #women featured in our 3rd #NFT edition. The first wave of the Civil Rights Movement would never have taken place without the church. This weeks fiasco in the Arkansas Senate is only the latest example of the danger at hand. Seriously? Along this path I've seen some of the worst of humanity and become part of a community of Trans-people that love like family. By 2036 they will be 62 percent of the electorate. Paula expected to leave. I preached in some of the biggest megachurches in America. As Paula, the former conservative leader says he is going public with his story at this time because he wants to save at-risk Christian transgender teenagers. By telling my story it is in hopes that this number will go down. It is just a fact. I have been gifted a re-birth. Enough is enough. Paul Williams, who led the conservative church planting organizationOrchard Groupfor 20 years,has publicly come out as a transgender woman named Paula Stone Williams. I was born in 1949 and growing up in the 50's and 60's there was no easy way to find out what was wrong with me. We vacation together. My wife and I decided that we would much rather have a happy, healthy daughter than a dead son. I forget there is still a world in which intelligent people believe men are supposed to be in charge of their families and churches and pretty much everything else. Maybe not in my lifetime, but in yours, I feel sure.'. However, I do care about their orthopraxy, how they practice the Christian faith. We only want what you want. While I appreciate what a Laverne Cox is doing, she is also setting the expectation, training society, that hers is the look of trans people. They always reference my selfishness, the eternity I will spend in hell, and the immutability of gender. It was a long slow slog to replace all the discrimination I both harbored within me and was taught from the world outside. The church exists to do life and search for meaning together. Last week my co-pastor Kristie and her fiancee Mara joined the Parasol Patrol, using opened rainbow umbrellas to protect children going to the Broomfield, Colorado Library for a story hour with drag queens. And Ryan had some . Cathy and I had an amazing weekend with our daughters and their daughters at a wonderful resort in Colorado the weekend before leaving for Hawaii. She just casually mentions that she had facial surgery to look more feminine [yeah, it felt weird when she wrote about it without acknowledging how impossible that is . Williams was fired from Orchard Group and from the Christian Standard periodical, where she had worked as the editor. I spent so much of my life encouraging others to be as themselves, trying so hard to live a life of love. Paul Williams, who led the conservative church planting organization Orchard Group for 20 years, has publicly come out as a transgender woman named Paula Stone Williams. I have resisted labeling and being labeled all my life; but if you insist on labeling me, you may say that I am trans-gifted. I know that a lot of times it seems like it would be easier just to give up. The wife of one of the November speakers said, My husband was equal parts terrified of you and grateful for you. I said, Yeah, thats about right. Helping speakers be at their best on the day of the event brings me immeasurable joy. Paula has been featured in the New York Times, TEDWomen, TEDSummit, Red Table Talk, TEDxMileHigh, the Denver Post, National Public Radio, ABC, and many other media outlets. I got counseling about three months after I found out. I simply know in my heart and mind Im a woman. In my 20s I spent a miserable two and a half years in psychoanalysis trying unsuccessfully to rid myself of my transgenderism. I never fit in with anything towards the female stereotype. Genderqueer people like me are an important, but often overlooked, part of the transgender community. The Reverend Paula Stone Williams knew she was transgender from the time she was 3 or 4 years old. Paula Stone Williams opens up about her new memoir, As a Woman, and her hopes to make amends by spreading lessons of love and compassion, Paula Stone Williams is candid about spending most of her adult life as a prominent male leader in evangelical ministry, which, as she puts it, "teaches the LGBTQ+ population will go to hell unless they give up their sexual identity.". Recently, a friend woefully told me that she is terrified we wont be friends after I transition because boys never want to be friends with her. I never spoke of it, I never cross dressed, I tried so hard to be him. Now you see the problem. I keep thinking about all of the trans people who now attend or have ever attended our church. Return to homepage. I don't look at myself in the mirror and fixate on the world I left behind to be myself. Unconditional love prevailed. To be successful as a blind man, I had to be strong. My life does not fit those boxes. Paula Stone Williams: I've lived as a man and as a woman here's what To be successful as a blind transgender woman, I have to be stronger. Jung also said life is a luminous pause between two great mysteries. Yep. Despite being assigned boy, I knew I was a girl. With humor, insight, and a surprisingly candid perspective, Paula will increase your understanding, answer your questions, and help you navigate the dangerous cultural waters of sex and gender politics. It's a lifelong process, something I will never really finish. Some days it felt like my body was becoming increasingly poisoned by my own testosterone. Once I realized that not all "females" are like me I started to second guess myself. I have experienced happiness for the first time in my life. I showed everyone that I was a man, at least on the outside. When you don't give up, and you stand against the world in defiance of what others try to make you do? Many people felt entitled to ask me about my body -- had I had "the surgery" yet? There is a long path ahead, and we walk it not just for us, but for all those who will come after us; so they don't have to suffer as we did. not buying into the binary was such a relief. Within the world of most scripture scholars, this type of biblical interpretation was dismissed more than a century ago. My advice to all the young trans women just starting out is to take heart even when things are tough. At the foundation of that life are a lot of good people: Fifty years ago, Cathy and I were married. I love her. (It is an honor to be among that 100.). In this talk, she reflects about the male privilege she once had and how she's being treated now as a woman. Women of Today - 2 Paula Stone Williams @paulaswilliams2 is @TEDTalks Speaker on Gender Equity and #LGBTQ Advocacy, Author of the book, As A Woman! But 84 percent of evangelicals believe gender is immutably determined at birth and over 60 percent believe we already give transgender people too many rights. She works with the Center for Progressive Renewal, serves on. Only the United States has gone to seed on it. There was a day, not so long ago, when I felt safe anywhere in America. It seemed to go well, though you can never tell when youre sitting in your living room talking on Zoom and viewers are scattered all over the planet. I've discovered who of my former life truly cares about me, and moreover, I've come to love myself. Im a superbly trained emeritus professor of surgery with a lifetime of experiences whos unemployed for the first time since I was 14. If you travel far enough, you find yourself, and I travelled a long and hard journey, to come back to what I already knew. Yes, the church has to reinvent itself for every generation, because the world is in a constant state of change. She has been featured in the New York Times, TEDWomen, TEDxMileHigh, the Denver Post, New Scientist, Radio New Zealand, The New York Post, NPR, and Colorado Public Radio.
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