Well, okay, honesty IS the best policy. However, telling the truth means others will respect your words and who you are as a whole. We cant always be honest about work because we need them as a reference for the future. Whether youre getting it off your chest, venting, expressing yourself, airing your feelings or just being honest," the truth about honesty is that honesty is not always the best policy. In particular, while there, I learnt that being honest was bad when nothing could be done with the truth. Sometimes we lie to ourselves so that we dont have to face the harsh reality of our situation, and someone else being honest with us can reveal important things we need to address. They know what you would actually like them to do rather than trying to infer this from the mixed messages you may give when you arent being totally honest. I will never be silenced. Its easy to put up a mask or a facade and be someone youre not. Honesty is the best policy for the core reason that it makes your life so much easier. Its only natural that when youre honest, your loved ones come to you for advice and opinions. Youre honest not to show others your image, but because its who you genuinely are. No one actually wants to hear what you think. They want to hear what they want to hear. Admit that it hurts, but don't torture yourself with "what-ifs.". How To Stop Lying In 6 No Nonsense Steps! Lastly, honesty represents that you have a good and pure heart. Do you really want to know that you were slower than 73% of the people who took that test? Telling the truth is simple. Negative emotions like shame and guilt will hinder you from living your best life, but an honest life will encourage you to thrive. So, here are 12 good reasons why the value of honesty is beyond measure. Making the decision to get beneath the veneer of anger and speak from the most vulnerable part of your emotional core is the ticket. Being honest causes less guilt When most of us say something that isn't truthful to someone, it causes us to feel guilt. In many ways, it succeeds. And you must be extremely cautious not to accidentally harm others. Not only that, but when you realize that people like you for who you are and for the honesty you bring, rather than a mask you put on in front of others, its empowering. You are also leaving a positive impact on the world, one that will be remembered long after you are gone. if (! It represents the goodness of your heart. Before creating this website, I wrote a book on living a meaningful life; it is called How to Be Amazing! My Champions, you know me. When someones honest with you on certain opinions and facts, it makes you trust them. But its not always easy to be honest. The reality is we dont need knives or guns to mortally wound those closest to us. Are You in Love With Someone Who Has a Personality Disorder? We should always use honesty to encourage others not to criticize. When you lead by example and consistently demonstrate honesty in your words and actions, you inspire others to do the same. But We Suffer the Consequence of What Our Programming Taught Us Schools are obsessed with them. We earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. When you honestly speak from this place, you arouse a feeling of empathy rather than antipathy. Instead, people want someone they can depend on for anything, even if it means the truth will hurt them. This is especially true when there is the risk of hurting someones feelings or getting yourself into trouble. Gives Value to your Opinion. But at the same time, people often only want to complain, they might already know the mistakes they are making, but they arent looking to fix them. Clears your conscience. So, start embracing honesty today, and see the positive impact it can have on your life and the world around you. Sometimes being honest is bad; that isnt to say that lying is good, but instead, sometimes telling the truth isnt the best policy. Primary psychopathy is characterized by hostility, extraversion, self-confidence, impulsivity, aggression, and mild-to-moderate anxiety. In many of these cases, it is seemingly best to say nothing about your private details, but you might need to lie if that doesnt work. The Two Words You Need Most, How to Understand and Handle Bitter People, The Truth About Real-Life Sexual Threesomes. All Rights Reserved. When youre honest, youre also perceived as reliable, dependable, and someone with integrity. Consistency is an important trait when it comes to both friendships and relationships. There are various benefits to being honest. By embracing honesty in your life, you can live a more fulfilling, authentic, and successful life. 1 However, since every person with HIV does not develop AIDS, it is not sufficient to cause AIDS. Subconscious Servant is here to guide you as explore spirituality, personal development, mindfulness, manifestation, and more. As an outsider, you can see this, and it is frustrating. Youre being brave enough to tell the truth as it is not for yourself, but because its righteous. How Blame and Shame Can Fuel Depression in Rape Victims, Getting More Hugs Is Linked to Fewer Symptoms of Depression, Interacting With Outgroup Members Reduces Prejudice, Practice Improves the Potential for Future Plasticity, How Financial Infidelity Can Affect Your Gray Divorce, 3 Reasons You Can't Stop Crying Over a Deceased Loved One, Toxic People: How to Recognize and Avoid Them, Marriage Problems? Compassion requires that you sometimes avoid the truth. When you are honest, it will communicate that you are most likely kind, compassionate, hard working, and reliable. In a nutshell, when feelings build up, its frustrating to sit on them. What Does It Mean When People Say Honesty Is The Best Policy? Experto en Seguridad y Defensa; Relaciones Internacionales; Liderazgo y Planificacin, Just being honest in your life and in your work, not you'll be forced to duck your head to anyone or anything, Applied Scientist, Entrepreneur, Investor, Writer. There are true advantages to preserving gray areas in which people can let their hair down and relax. It involves a few key practices: never lying, never hiding the truth, and never purposefully omitting or misdirecting people from the truth. There is no need to remember what you lied about and to whom. It communicates that you think you know best what the other person ought to hear, when thats not your place to say. Often, when we are going through a troubling time or having problems in our lives, we seek friends or familys advice. Or you can try a FREE TRIAL of Blinkist HERE. Whats more, continuing on the path of full disclosure can actually bring permanent closure to your relationships! When you consistently demonstrate honesty and integrity, you are setting an example for others to follow. ; In a nutshell, when feelings build up, its frustrating to sit on them. He cried out . Most of the time, people just want to hear nice things, or things that are convenient. If you go to job interviews and are completely honest about you skills and experience (or lack thereof) you will not get a job. If you work in a building with digital IDs, the odds are your employer knows how much time you take for your lunch breaks and exactly what time you arrive and leave. This also means you can live your version of the truth without worrying about everyone elses comfort. It's the complete opposite - it is being transparent and open so that others can take your views and feelings into consideration. Its much more stressful to lie about something than to tell the truth. You must use honesty to help other people, not to hurt them. Make sure the truth is the truth. Honesty is the quality of being truthful and sincere, and it is an essential aspect of personal integrity. That said, when we are talking to someone in person who we dont know, it is almost always easier not to tell the truth or hold back information. Here are 5 reasons to be honest that you may or may not have thought of: 1. When we become angry, its because we usually feel other more basic and vulnerable feelings such as hurt, sadness and fear. Created and co-written by Gretel Vella (writer on The Great and Class of '07) and based on a . Your IP: You dont care about conforming to what others want or making others comfortable. Given the choice between being honest and lying, I choose the former, not so much because the truth always outs itself eventually, but because with truth begets growth/transformation (coincidentally, my company's namesake) - even when it is difficult or uncomfortable. Guilt is a pretty strong emotion, whether you realize this or not. Without trust, a relationship cannot thrive, and it can lead to feelings of betrayal and resentment. Theres a continuum of dumping that ranges from outright physical violence on the one end of the spectrum to far subtler forms of aggressionhonesty being the subtlest of all forms of assault. And in terms of relationships with other people, openness gives rise to vulnerability and vulnerability gives rise to genuine connection. Honesty is an attitude, a way of life, wherein a person resolves to speak the truth and not involve in any kind of malignant activities, whatsoever. 69.163.152.136 When you are truthful and transparent, you are demonstrating that you have integrity and that you value the truth. Honesty is an integral character trait that makes people become better versions of themselves. Of course, this is very subjective and open to debate. The best example of this kind of situation is when you have a job interview with a different company, as it is not likely that you can admit you have a job interview somewhere else. When youre honest as a person, it can strengthen bonds. Get started today and take 10% off of your first month of therapy. Take, for example, standardized tests. People who choose to live a life filled with dishonesty tend to be afraid of confrontation and dont want to face the facts. When you are honest with yourself and others, you are showing that you value yourself and your integrity. Your loved ones know that your motto is honesty is the best policy, so when theyre looking for direct advice, they come to you. Men have long been silent and stoic about their inner lives, but theres every reason for them to open up emotionallyand their partners are helping. Had he been honest to both himself and to his wife, she could have been with someone who actually loved and cared for her, and he could have lived his life in a way that made him happy as well. The best you can do is try to judge the situation, figure out what people are looking for and give the best answer, even if it isnt the honest truth. Honesty couldnt work here because by the time I made this comment, tons of money had already been invested. Honesty is the best policy because it represents your character. You cant tell your boss that you hate your job or think they are doing a lousy job because that will could get fired. At my first job out of college, I worked for a startup, and that was a spectacular failure, but it was a significant learning experience. In all your relationships, honesty is what makes you much more reliable and trustworthy. The aspect that builds trustworthy and reliable relationships has everything to do with honesty. My wife is a fantastic chef as we always eat great meals when she is cooking, and I know the rest of my family is usually jealous of what she makes. Im sure most people feel the same way about work, so my experience isnt unique. If you want to be honest, be more focused on doing the right thing rather than being liked by everyone else. This is why when a friend becomes dishonest with you, the tendency is you become doubtful about their intentions as a whole. That feel good sensation is a form of gratification. When you arent entirely honest with others in what you want, it allows them to challenge you and try to persuade you to their way of thinking. The thing about telling a nice story or a less painful lie is that it helps the people we care about. I say this because the company eventually failed, but before that, I got in trouble after telling the CEO that the codebase was problematic. But that example represents other sorts of situations where the truth might not work. However, doing so means youre doing the moral and just thing. Not everyone seems to think so. Being honest is bad when it comes to the end of a relationship cause you dont want to burn bridges or make enemies. Theres no need to disclose everything when it comes to white lies. 1.) But when you actually start to examine the case for honesty, you realize that its a far better option than the alternative. You also experience less stress and anxiety because you are not constantly trying to maintain a false image or meet other peoples expectations. Select Accept to consent or Reject to decline non-essential cookies for this use. The reason why honesty really is the best policy has everything to do with intentions. While honesty is a great trait, you should never use honesty as an excuse to say what youre thinking out loud each time, especially hurtful words. Like with beauty, honesty is in the eye of the beholder. The only answer 2023 Copyright How to Live a Meaningful Life, link to It is important to be true to yourself, 2) Telling the Truth at Work Can Get You Fired, 5) Honesty Doesnt Help When Nothing Can Be Changed, 6) Honesty Isnt Always Great With Strangers, 7) People With Power Over Us Dont Want the Truth, 9) Telling a Nice Story Helps When the Truth Hurts, 10) You Cant Tell the Truth When You Move On, 11) People Want Us to Listen Not Give Advice, he liked the book and was glad that he didnt have to lie about it. Spencer's father, Larry, gave us a 20 minute interview breaking down the situation. 1. The question becomes, was he telling the truth? Honesty, though not always easy, doesnt carry such burdens. Oftentimes, we conceal our true desires or preferences behind the curtain of sure and fine and okay rather than speak our truth. We are told from a young age to always tell the truth, regardless of circumstance or consequence. Your friends love the "true you," not the one you've artificially created. Uncover the answers that lie within and expand your horizons on a journey of self-discovery! Sometimes telling a slightly dishonest story rather than the cold hard facts will leave everyone feeling better but still have a similar outcome. Authenticity is a key aspect of happiness and wellbeing. Honesty Reason #2: The Truth sets you free. You may deal with conflict and disappointment from time to time, but what matters is that you stick to your version of the truth. One-night stands have good prospects (about 27%) of turning into a long-term relationship. It's also important to remember that anger is never the primary emotion. Finally, embracing honesty in your life can leave a positive legacy. Honesty is the best policy and it doesnt get more real than that. You also dont need to let your partner know every thought in your head, as this can cause unnecessary friction and doubt in the relationship. But at the same time, if I didnt need to work, I wouldnt still be there. But regardless, people arent often looking for advice; they usually want someone to listen to their problems without judgment. Whether for the sake of a friendship or relationship, you would rather be dishonest to get them to like you or stay in your life. In those cases, it is always better to say the meal was good or alright, and then make some suggestions about what could have been improved. It wont always be easy. I hear it all the time: "I don't know how"; "I'm not qualified"; "I can't".. Coach JaVaughna and Shantae Gonalez engage in a candid conversation about how we as women, especially women with children, lack the trust and discipline needed to be . That feel good sensation is a form of gratification. While honesty can also hurt someones feelings, you end up doing more good than harm by being honest. He is the author of How to Self-Promote without Being a Jerk. Author's note: The truth is I like to tinker. But honesty is a choice. Whether its your honest advice or just you in general, youre someone dependable when youre consistent. But at the same time, anyone who understands the situation realizes that the confident person isnt always telling the truth, yet their sometimes unearned confidence tends to pay off. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and be quicker to lend a hand than to cut someone down - even if your intention in sharing data was not to be cruel. There may come a time when acts of brutal honesty can be seen as harsh or cold-hearted. Honesty is the easiest choice Being honest is completely by choice. You don't have to carry heavy emotional burdens. It strengthens relationships Speaking of relationships, this is an evident factor behind why honesty is the best policy. Not only that, we are respecting the fact that they can handle the truth and dont need to be told lies just because the truth may be difficult to hear. But only for the reasons I state above - the reasons of living life as it is meant to be lived ( as if we are okay with everything that happens to us - and, y'know, this way of being in the world is not as impossible as you think it might be). "Volunteering" that someone's looks/behavior/choices are unbecoming is not "just being honest," it's just being a jerk. Often when we make a significant change in our lives, that ends one thing and starts something else. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. The best skill is bringing out talent in others, so rather than judging others, do your best to help them. If you are a technical person, you might have sat in on meetings and conversations with non-technical people, often; in these meetings, the people talking dont accurately represent the issues or the situation. The reason why honesty does more good than harm is that you show your true colors to everyone else. For example, if someone asks if youd like to do something with them and you dont want to, it is better to state that with crystal clarity rather than say, Maybe another time., Because if your answer isnt clear, the other person will probably try to twist your arm into doing the thing that you dont want to do. When this happens, the best we can do is keep the peace and not say anything that will get us in trouble. Whether youre dealing with a partner, a friend, a family member, or a colleague, when you are honest with that person, they have a reason to trust you. While Ive presented 11 examples of times where telling the truth might not be the best idea, I dont believe that we should be dishonest most of the time. 4 Reasons Why People Lose Interest in a Partner, Yes, You Can Raise Happy Children After Divorce, Why Older Women Who Date Younger Men Are More Satisfied. Honesty is the best policy by far. We're therefore . She writes about divination, astrology, mediumship and spirituality at Questionology: Astrology and Divination For the Modern World where you can also find out more about her work as a freelance astrologer and her mind-body-spirit writing and editing services.